Last Saturday, I was kinda blue as I anticipated Jeremy leaving the next day for a little conference in San Diego. Only four weeks out from having Virgil I wasn't excited about being alone for 3 1/2 days. BUT... my amazing mom came to my rescue at the last minute. One moment she and dad were just visiting for a few hours (they live in KS...3 hours away), and the next she was whisking my girls away in the Yukon back to KS so that I could attend the conference with JJ!!!! ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! She originally had thought it wouldn't be possible to watch the girls with her work schedule, but after hearing how bummed I was at the thought of staying home, she did it anyway. All to say... I got to go to San Diego for a few days and hang out with other new pastors and their wives... it was wonderful, refreshing, encouraging... so needed. Little V did amazing on the trip. He slept on all the flights and through most of the sessions, too. (He is rather spoiled as a result, though... he thinks he needs to be held ALL the time!)
The day we were flying home I called my mom to see how things had gone. Alice had been sick with a fever and a cough... and now Sadie had a pretty high fever and cough also :( Oh, boy.... not what I was hoping to come home to. You see, I have a bad tendency to worry, especially when it comes to sick kids. Somewhere along the course of parenting, perhaps when we lost Sophie, or as we witnesses good friends lose a child, I have developed what JJ would call a "pessimistic" view of what could happen. I prefer to call it a "realistic" view :) As much as I believe and trust that God will see us through anything and everything... and as much as I believe that God in all his power can prevent and protect us from anything... I also know that trials come. So when my kids get sick, I always fear the worst... I fear another trial...
So in this season of parenting, I have a hard time not worrying about Virgil getting sick from the girls and ending up in the hospital. It's really awful... It's a real weakness of mine. I get really worked up with all the things that could happen and it consumes me and robs me of my joy. Not good. So as we flew home from San Diego, I made a decision. I prayed, "God, you know my fears. You know how I struggle with worry. You know how I want to hold on to things by worrying about them... as if somehow it will help. Virgil is yours, and I'm laying him at your feet. You already know whether he will catch this bug or not and it's in your hands. So... I'm done. No more worrying."
All three girls are sick still today, but Sadie's fever is finally gone after 5 days. It hasn't been easy evading the worry filled thoughts. Satan is persistent... he slyly keeps trying to convince me that I need to worry. But praise be the God, who gives us victory over temptation... even the thoughts of our minds.
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3
"So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.' " Hebrews 13:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6,7