It's more about having things under control. ... mainly my home, my kids, my stuff... I like to be one step ahead, not behind. I like to be proactive, not reactive.
Lately life has been out of control. I'm ten steps behind, hanging on by a thread, and just hoping my world stays together and life doesn't completely fall apart. I've slacked on training with my girls, let up on reading/studying God's word, I've put off going to the Lord in prayer, I push down the clothes in the hamper a little farther instead of starting a load of laundry, my kitchen floor is filthy, my desk is super unorganized, I haven't unpacked our suitcase from last week... and I've allowed these things to get under my skin. I feel out of control. I feel behind. I feel like a failure. What a great way to start the new year! :)
I went to church yesterday morning... and listened to a New Years sermon. I was in and out of the service, because of my loud youngest child, but God did speak to me.
These days when I utter a prayer in the midst of the chaos, it usually is a feeble cry for God to help me handle my load, my responsibilities. As I started to breath that prayer in church yesterday, I felt God ask me... if I would trust him. If I would trust him instead of trusting in my ability to conquer my life. Could I be okay with chaos raging around me, just holding on to my Savior? Maybe I don't need to get my life under control... maybe I just need to allow myself to be under God's control.
So my prayer has changed...
My New Years prayer is this:
Oh God, help me to trust in you and not in myself and my ability to control all the pieces of my life. Bring me under your control... hide me under the shelter of your wing and comfort me. Help me to be okay with the chaos raging around me if it makes me more dependent on you. Grant me joy and peace in this year ahead...that can only come from you, not from crossing off things on a to-do list. Thank you for your promise to never leave me no matter what life brings.
My New Years prayer for you:
You can print your own copy of this art print, as a reminder to trust in the Lord this new year... it's a 5x7... frame it, pin it up, or pass it on to a friend!
DOWNLOAD it here :)
Blessing in Christ and Happy New Year!