Sadie in the waiting room at her appointment today.
Today we had an appointment for Sadie to check up on her kidney... Sadie had a rough pregnancy with multiple complications... one of which was the discovery of only one kidney (you can read the whole story HERE).
Ever since our pediatrician told us that he thought it would be a good idea to go to a specialist, just to make sure everything was functioning properly with her kidney, I've been a little anxious. You know, Sadie is almost 3, and most days I hardly think about all that we went through during my pregnancy with her. I hardly think about all the fears I used to have for her.
During the first year of Sadie's life, I worried alot about her. She was so tiny... and since we knew she only had one kidney, I worried about how she was growing. I hoped she was big enough... I hoped she was getting enough nutrients. She seemed so fragile to me. After making her appointment, those thoughts started resurfacing. I tried not to dwell on them, but every time the appointment would come to mind, I'd fear that they would discover something bad at it. I feared that they would tell me that she wasn't growing properly or that her kidney was weak ... I don't know... I just really struggled with fearing the worst! I even worried that when they did the ultrasound they would find something else wrong with her... like a tumor or something! I know... I had absolutely no grounds for being worried at all! ...but I still was. Shame on me. I knew I should be laying my burdens down in prayer to the Lord, but I was really having a hard time.
Well, because of an unexpectedly busy week spent back home in Kansas, Jeremy and I forgot to get a babysitter for the other kids so that we could go to the appointment together with Sadie. Awful, I know. So Jeremy, bless his heart, took her to OKC by himself (He's such a good dad). After the appointment, Jeremy called me. He sounded a little weird on the phone. But very quickly he said, "Everything's fine, but I just have to tell you about the ultrasound." Even though he said everything was okay, I was still nervous as he began to describe what happened. Well, I guess the technician looked at her one kidney checked it all out and said it looked good. But then as she studied the screen and moved the wand around some more on Sadie's tummy, she got a weird look on her face. Jeremy got nervous. Her brow furrowed and she looked intently at the screen. And then she said, "Well there's your other kidney."
WHAT?! What?! My sweet little fragile Sadie, has two kidneys? She's not going to end up on dialysis or need a kidney transplant some day?! (I know, I'm amazingly dramatic.) She'll be able to play powder-puff football or roller derby someday?! ...I couldn't believe it.
He continued to tell me how basically she has a pelvic kidney. A kidney that never rose into it's proper place, but remained behind the pelvis in front of the spine, if I understand correctly. It's perfect. It functions. She's normal. :) Ha!
I took in all this info. from Jeremy, teared up, and hung up the phone. Then it hit me. "Oh, God. I was so scared for my little girl. I feared the worst. I prayed that everything would be okay and that they wouldn't find ANYTHING. But, God, you gave me more than I even asked for... more than I could have even imagined! You gave her another kidney. Forgive me for not trusting you... forgive me for always fearing the worst instead of trusting and hoping in you. Thank you. Thank you for giving us what we didn't even ask for."
Today I am thankful, so thankful... and very humbled.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20, 21