Two years ago this July marks the turning in our miracle twin pregnancy. Yeah, I definitely call it a miracle... something beyond the rational, beyond all expectations...something only God could do.
Let's back up... a long ways back...
Elsie, our second, was 8 mo. old and I just found out that I was pregnant! I felt as I should...sick, tired, emotional all that good stuff. At 11 weeks I went in for my first appointment. I did the whole drill, all the inconveniences of that first appointment. Then, you know how it goes... finally, they check for the heartbeat. They couldn't find one...uh, that's not good...I remember thinking. I knew by 11 wks. I should definitely be able to hear it. So they sent me to the next room to do a quicky sono. As the image came up on the screen, i knew it didn't look right...I knew there was no baby. But what there was was four empty sacs. Blighted Ovum...that's what they call it, when the sacs form and the body thinks you're carrying a normal pregnancy...but there's no baby. But four sacs? Our doctor thought it might be something more serious...a molar pregnancy. A molar pregnancy is like a cancer and is treated like cancer. Needless to say I was broken hearted and scared.
Those days were so hard. I wondered why God had done this? What was his plan? So we went through sonos and tests, I had a D&C and we waited... mourning our loss and leaning on the arms of our Savior... hoping it wasn't a molar pregnancy, hoping it was just a blighted ovum and we would be able to try again for another baby soon.
The day I was supposed to get the results back from the D&C, I was completely at peace. They had told us that they were fairly sure that it was the molar pregnancy....yet I was truly at peace and really believed it wasn't. Well, I got the call and it wasn't a molar pregnancy. Even my doctor was surprised... The doctors decided that all the sacs were a result of what would have been twins..2 sacs that each divided (division of the sacs I guess is common with a blighted ovum). It was a victory in the middle of such a hard thing... We praised God for answered prayer and tried to go on with life.
But my thoughts stuck on TWINS... seriously? I had never even dreamed of having twins. But that all changed. I began to think that maybe I would like to have twins... I'd always wanted four kids and this would finish it out quite nicely! After all, at this point pregnancy was not pure joy any more. I was emotionally drained and ready to be done with the child bearing years. (Okay, I know some of you are laughing at this point because you know how old I was... I was only 25, Ha! But hey I was tired! And more than anything my husband was tired of all the pregnancy drama...this was our second miscarriage AND honestly, I'm not exactly a nice person when I'm pregnant!!! :) )
So, I began to pray for twins.
I would later see that God used this hard situation to open my heart to the idea of twins. He knew that a desire for twins would grow in my heart and he knew that I would ask him for that desire of my heart. And he knew that it would bring glory to his name.
Two months later I was preggo again! I kept talking about twins... Jeremy thought I was nuts. Why would be have twins again? Is that even remotely possible statistically? Well, I went in for my first appointment...earlier this time... had another quicky sono to make sure everything was on track. Lo and behold as I looked at that screen in that same little room where my heart had fallen two months earlier... I saw something very different. I saw two little babies with two little heartbeats. I went back to the waiting room and told Jeremy who was waiting with the girls. He didn't believe me... Oh, the look on his face when I showed him the sono picture!
My God had done something miraculous! Do you understand what he did? We don't even have twins in our family!! But he chose to bless me, to show me his power... in the most real and tangible way. He gave me my twins. (okay now, I'm crying...currently... I'm an idiot for writing this story while I'm pregnant! )
I have never experienced such joy...such overwhelming fullness of joy. I remember later that day, driving alone in the car on my way to go tell my sister the news. I broke down crying and praising God. I just kept saying "Thank you, thank you, thank you" over and over again. Like the scripture says, he had turned my mourning into dancing. Not only had he done the impossible, he had shown himself to me... I was loved, so loved by my God.
The following weeks were pure bliss...except for the intense morning sickness and fatigue! We bought books on having twins, looked at cribs, and started picking names, and told everyone what God had done! My plans and dreams were so big! Life was so exciting ......
I don't want to write the next part... (big breath) even though God is faithful and I never stopped feeling so loved by my God, the rest of story is one of clinging to him during dark uncertain hours.
So...I'll stop here. I'll finish it soon... I promise :) I'm gonna go eat some spaghetti... my preggo tummy is growling (he, he). I'll probably finish it tonight, when "the loud ones" are in bed :)
Sono of the babies ... we'll always remember this one. They were both so active and just danced around! Such a good memory....
Enjoy your meal. I'll come back for the rest of the story.
ReplyDeleteoh, i can't wait to hear the rest of the story. my heart is a little heavy though feeling where this is going. i'll be praying for you during this pregnancy! enjoy your spaghetti :)
ReplyDeletelooking forward to the rest of the story, I think--I'm already feeling emotional...Yummy food distraction :)
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