Do you ever wish your husband would look you in the eyes and tell you that it's all going to be okay? Or do you ever wish that someone understood exactly how you felt... or that you had someone who saw all the hard work you did, appreciated it, and valued you in a genuine way. Or even deeper yet... do you ever long for someone to love you for all you want to be, strive to be... ... instead viewing you through your short comings? I have thoughts all the time about what I wish people could be for me or do for me: be encouragement, support, strength... make me feel loved, valued, secure... I've been convicted lately with the fact that every time I long for someone to be or do one of these things, I'm ignoring the one who offers it continually. God through Christ offers me unconditional love... he sees my inner most parts and cherishes me deeply. He longs to encourage me, provide strength for me, to hold me and take me through each hard moment. He values me, understands me and deeply longs to share an intimate relationship with me. I have all I need in him. There is nothing that anyone can offer me that my Savior does not already provide perfectly! Yet... I turn away and ask that others supply these things for me. How hurtful that must be to my Lord, when I reject him in this way. He is faithful to me to provide everything I could every need. I, in return, am unfaithful. I refuse his perfect care and look to the world to fill me.
My emotional needs have been especially deep lately. This Saturday we pack up and head to Oklahoma to begin a new job. This last fall God cemented in our hearts a call to ministry. This call has led us to Memorial Road Mennonite Brethren Church in Edmond, OK. Jeremy is going to serve in the role of Associate Pastor of Student ministries there. Needless to say, there have been many opportunities for me to either look to God to supply my needs or look elsewhere. I am learning to trust in a whole new way. He truly is capable of meeting every need! Through this new trust, I feel like I'm beginning to know him better... like a new wife learning to trust her husband with her needs and desires. And as a result this new wife watches the relationship grow, become stronger and more meaningful. So at a time when everything is uncertain, one thing remains rock solid. My Lord goes with me to strengthen, love, and uphold me... like no one else can.