I'm cookin'... not food though. Rather, I'm moving through these days, these hours of my life at a pretty fast clip! I'm not exactly sure how I get myself into such busy places in life....(shaking head, with baffled look on face)... Jeremy has always said that I crave chaos. And that would appear to be true according to the record :) I suppose it's mainly due to the number of children I have, pregnancy, church responsibilities, homeschooling and my Etsy endeavors. But hey... isn't that most of us?! Life is full... and that's mostly a good thing :) Yet, since I struggle with high expectations for myself, a strong drive for whatever I deem important, and a stubborn inability to admit when it's too much... I often am left frustrated and overwhelmed crouching in a corner... I love it and hate it all at the same time.
Oh yeah...and I forgot one other aspect of it all.... I happen to be quite in love with my husband. All day, throughout my tasks and responsibilities, I'm looking forward to our time together. You know, after the kids are in bed.... when the dynamic of the home shifts. I suddenly become a young girl who finally gets to see her boyfriend. We get to hang out, watch TV, and each junk food :) I live for that time of day. It's as if someone pressed a button on the remote control of our lives allowing the speed to fall back out of fast-forward and into a normal enjoyable pace. Suddenly I can breath... I feel content.... I forget about my to-do list and all my responsibilities. So the hours pass... just like those teenagers that we used to be, we seem to have no rational limit for how late we stay up :) And, you know what that does.... it compounds the problem of my busyness during the day (Big sigh...). But how could I choose...one over the other.... the important, essential tasks of the day or my time with my love? So what do I do? Cling to the chaos. I hold on tight, I won't let go of either! Stubborn? perhaps.
Yet I know, these days will pass. Life will shift into a different mode... eventually. But for now I cling to what's important: my God-given assignments to raise and educate my children, keep a home, be a Proverbs 31 business woman, do his work... and be a wife fully devoted to her husband.
On the days that I'm not sleep deprived and when I can see the end of the to-do list ... and when I can somehow let the stress and the overwhelmed feeling roll off my back... I realize, I'm living life to the fullest and its absolutely wonderful!
Oh Lord, I pray this prayer so often... because I need your help so much. Lord give me strength.. physical, emotional, mental... and bless the work of my hands. Help me to know its all for you. You've called me to a purpose and you have given me what I need to accomplish it... if I trust in you. Thank you for that promise. Help me to be faithful and joyful in my work... all the while, fully devoted to my husband and even more fully devoted to you.